SOBER CITY – Day 62

P173

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Sober City – March 3, 2011
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Two months down. Ten more to go. My last post sounded a little like I was tearing at the seams but I assure you I am not. Save for a reoccurring dream almost every night involving me drinking and then freaking out that I ruined my self imposed liquor sabbatical, I’m doing relatively well. While the dream surely can’t be a good sign, as long as I confine my slip ups to my sub conscience, all is good and on track. The real question seems to be, to what end? Curiosity was the catalyst, weight loss and productivity are the driving benefits, but what is the true and honest expected outcome of this experiment? A better appreciation for self control and personal betterment I suppose. But really? Is that it? I mean that might be enough for now but come June I’m gonna need a better excuse to pass on those patio beers.
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The mind is a powerful thing. People always say, “It’s just in your head” (or some variation of that phrase) to explain an overreaction to something or to clarify the ability to change an unfavorable situation, and they’re absolutely right. It is just in our heads. But that’s the problem. EVERYTHING is in our heads. Our ideas and our beliefs and all of our personal truths about what is and what isn’t, who’s right and who’s wrong, what’s real and what’s not, it all comes from our heads. It’s essential to our everyday lives and it creates the landscape of the world we all co-exist in but it’s largely sub conscience and deeply engrained in those wonderful aforementioned heads of ours.
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Me needing to go to a pub and write lyrics while drinking a bottle of wine is something I completely made up in my head (mostly due to every damn artist biography ever written) but so is my fear of spiders or my taste in music or how often and what I eat. It’s all made up. From family tradition, from past experience, from association with a loved one, from something seen in a movie once. It’s all part of the life long construction of our personal realities and it is both incredibly easy and impossibly hard to change over time. It’s all in your head so just think a different way, right? With your head. The same one that created the thing your trying to change in the first place. Can you do it? Maybe. Maybe not. Only time will tell.
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All I’m trying to say with this rambling mess is that life is a series of choices and consequences and the way we choose to experience these outcomes, however big or small they be, will dictate both the type of person we are and the type of life we lead. Choosing to change something is as easy as looking at it from a different angle. The tricky part is getting yourself to the better vantage point. That’s really what this whole thing is all about I guess so I’ll be sure to keep my head up and my eyes peeled. Every day is just another beginning. Cheers!

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