SOBER CITY – Day 115


Sober City – April 25th, 2011
Oh yeah, I blog. Right. I almost forgot about that. An absence of that length might lead one to believe that I have leapt from the cursed dry wagon into the wetlands of 6 packs and 40 ouncers. Fear not boy and girls, the train is still on the tracks and the experiment continues! So what big event has kept me from documenting my adventures for almost two weeks? What obviously way more important thing has tied up my brainwaves so much that I couldn’t dedicate 30 minutes of my precious time to typing a couple hundred words about myself for you fine people to read? I’ll tell you what it was…LAZINESS. I’m lazy. You got me. Congratulations. Collect your complimentary toaster from the door guy. I’m lazy and what’s more, this may come as a surprise to many of you, but I do get tired of talking about myself from time to time. Weird right? Some self centered actor I am. “Man up and tell Billy Bush how much you love Dancing With The Stars MacLeod!!” Never. I won’t and I don’t. “James Lipton wants to know what your favorite curse word is.” Ego. Next! “Don’t you feel so much more creative now that you’re sober?” Sure do! Now hand me that Q-tip and chewing gum so I can MacGyver myself a time machine to take me back to 2007 and a nice cold Heineken. Complaining about not drinking booze for a year. Sounds great. I hear my blog is real big in Japan.
Thats’s a little angry. I sound angry. I’m really not, it’s just the constant struggle of trying to be artistically honest and real in an industry dedicated to pretending to be something you’re not. It’s not just the acting world either, the music industry can be just as bad if not worse. Entertainment is entertainment no matter what kind it is and the business can definitely make you crazy if you’re not careful. Once again, drinking helps, or at least it seems to, but it’s all psychological right? I mean a drink “taking the edge off” is just something that’s engrained in our collective social conscience, it’s not science is it? There’s no hard proof of alcohol containing some kind of calming agent or happy vitamins is there? I’m not asking these questions to make a point, I actually wonder whether it’s true or not because as I remember it, douchey actors and fake musicians seemed a lot easier to deal with after a beer or five. Coffee just amplifies the rage and the heightened awareness that comes with a clear head isn’t always a good thing. I don’t know. Maybe it should be. Science is hard.
We’re all learning here folks. Little bits of information swishing around our ADD riddled brains. Aren’t you glad I posted all this valuable important information? Drinking calms the nerves and actors are crazy. Joe is an artist who is bitter and lazy. Write this down kids, there will be a test. It’s multiple choice and every answer is “all of the above” except for the essay question worth 51% which will be a detailed report on how lame it is to complain about Rebecca Black in a country where Donald Trump is a serious contender for the presidency while unemployment is at an all time high. “Hey public school teachers, you’re fired!” Yeah thanks Donald, we already know. We so excited.
It’s all crazy though isn’t it? Everyone has crazy in their lives in one form or another and we all have our chocolate bunny crosses to bear (That may be wrong, I haven’t been to church in a while). The important thing is to not dwell on something for too long, which is exactly what I tend to do here. So I apologize if my posts become sparatic but it truly is for the greater good. If I post too frequently I’m libel to rant myself onto a defamation coma where the only cure is expensive whiskey and a visit from the ghost of Bill Hicks. As awesome as that would be, I’ll stick to the original plan. Only 250 more days to go. Sweet zombie Jesus. Here’s hoping I don’t spontaneously burst into flames before then. Cheers!


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