SOBER CITY – DAY 184

P683

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Sober City, July 3rd 2011
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The half way mark. Here it is. Jesus Christ. I’ve spent 6 months as a resident of sober city dodging shots and keeping the streets dry from my vacation rental and now I have 6 months left on my 1 year lease and for the first time since this whole thing started I’m thinking about buying. It’s not like I’d become a permanent resident of Sober City forever but I’m starting to like the idea of actually owning a piece of land here and maybe hanging out longer than some wide eyed, snap shot tourist. It’s a huge revelation and not one I take lightly (especially since last month I was convinced I’d be ending the experiment on July 1st) but I also know how fleeting my ideas can be so there’s a grain of salt firmly embedded in all this as well. I just really like how I’ve been feeling these past few months and I can’t ignore the weight loss, productivity increase, happiness boost and overall positive energy that has been surrounding me since I’ve settled into this “City” I’ve created. It feels good to finally feel like me again and it can’t be a coincidence it’s happening now.
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We all lose ourselves in different ways. Whether it’s with work or with the wrong partner or with growing older or hanging around the wrong people or drinking too much or simply not remembering what it is that burns inside of you. It’s really easy to lose sight of our passion and spark if we don’t nurture it and recognize that it’s always there even when we think it’s lost. I had to step away from some old habits I had made part of my identity to rediscover the better parts that were getting buried. That’s really all it took. Just a shift of focus so the more important aspects of my being that I truly love and admire could get front and center again for everyone to see.
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Having said all that good stuff, it hasn’t been a cakewalk all the way. I still second guess myself on a pretty regular basis and bad days are still bad days but that’s all part of this shared human experience we’re all involved in and isn’t something that necessarily needs to be avoided. You just have to make sure you equip yourself with as many of the weapons and tools you have at your disposal, to kill the beasts of negativity and maneuver the choppy water of self doubt as best you can. Anything that greatly hinders your progress or reduces your chances of eradicating the twisted demons that hold you back from your true self, should be nailed to a cross and beaten to death with parts of it’s own body. Metaphorically speaking of course. We’re at war folks. But it’s not Us Vs Them, it’s Us Vs Ourselves and we can chose the winning side if we want to but it’s gonna take time and determination and a shit load of inner strength. It’s up to you. Every day is a new battle but every day can also be a new victory and no matter what happened “last time” or what might happen “next time”, you can always take comfort in the fact that right now at this moment, we’re winning. Cheers.

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