4 days in a row at the gym and I hate it. OK maybe hate is a little strong. I don’t hate being AT the gym or the feeling I have AFTER the gym, it’s the going TO the gym that really chaps my ass (only figuratively…so far). It’s the idea more than anything, that not only do I have to go now, I have to keep going over and over again for the rest of my life in order to keep this monstrous beast that is excess fat and depression constantly at bay. Come on!! That’s not cool. Let me lose weight playing video games and get rich sleeping in every day. What’s wrong with that? This is why diets and workout plans fail so often, they’re a lot of work at the beginning with little results until later. This is the mountain I faced before and this is the mountain I’m facing again. Taking the first step may indeed be the hardest thing to do but the second and third and tenth and twentieth steps sure as shit aren’t any easier.
But the proof is in the pudding and not drinking, coupled with eating less and exercising regularly, absolutely works for me. It makes me lose weight, it makes me feel happier and above all it motivates me to be a better me. What in the hell more do I want? Free sex? Guaranteed immortality? No! I want what everybody wants who struggles with weight issues or career problems or substance abuse. I want that magic pill that makes it all happen immediately so I don’t have to do anything at all and get everything I want. Come on science! How hard can it be? We’re two years away from hover boards in the Back To The Future universe and Doc Brown didn’t even have an iPhone! Get your shit together!
The point is; waiting sucks. Losing weight is not easy and neither is getting clean or rebuilding a career or quitting smoking but they’re not impossible achievements. What’s more, they’re not even that complicated to achieve as long as you’re willing to put in the time and do the work. Every fad diet and trendy workout phenomenon preys on our society’s inability to put in time and wait, when it’s really dirt simple. Want the secret? Here it is:


“The Ultimate Weight Loss Solution For a Better You” by Dr. J.W. MacLeod D.F.A.

Chapter 1

Burn more calories than you eat.

Chapter 2


The End

Pulitzer Prize please!
We all know this and we don’t care because we’re all lazy impatient assholes who get angry when a web page from Africa takes over 10 seconds to load…on our cellular telephone…on an airplane…FLYING IN THE SKY LIKE A BIRD. Not good enough. We want everything we want immediately all the time so no wonder we feel the same about big life altering changes to our endlessly complex bodies and lives. It’s pointless and damaging and we do it just the same. The key is to recognize it and move on.
So waiting sucks and the mountain of change usually seems insurmountable. Fact. So what? “Oh well, it’s not worth it?” Bullshit. It’s absolutely worth it and I know because I got to the other side once before and it was amazing. Looking back now at the time it took me to get there, it seems like nothing more than a brief moment in time. It seems that way because it WAS just a moment and it IS just a moment and it’s all going to BE just a moment again. So really, complaining is useless and only makes you miserable. Waiting sucks, sure, but idling is worse and time waits for no one. Your future self is coming no matter what you do or don’t do so you may as well do something. Those hover boards aren’t gonna ride themselves.


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