SOBER CITY – Day 115

P580

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Sober City – April 25th, 2011
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Oh yeah, I blog. Right. I almost forgot about that. An absence of that length might lead one to believe that I have leapt from the cursed dry wagon into the wetlands of 6 packs and 40 ouncers. Fear not boy and girls, the train is still on the tracks and the experiment continues! So what big event has kept me from documenting my adventures for almost two weeks? What obviously way more important thing has tied up my brainwaves so much that I couldn’t dedicate 30 minutes of my precious time to typing a couple hundred words about myself for you fine people to read? I’ll tell you what it was…LAZINESS. I’m lazy. You got me. Congratulations. Collect your complimentary toaster from the door guy. I’m lazy and what’s more, this may come as a surprise to many of you, but I do get tired of talking about myself from time to time. Weird right? Some self centered actor I am. “Man up and tell Billy Bush how much you love Dancing With The Stars MacLeod!!” Never. I won’t and I don’t. “James Lipton wants to know what your favorite curse word is.” Ego. Next! “Don’t you feel so much more creative now that you’re sober?” Sure do! Now hand me that Q-tip and chewing gum so I can MacGyver myself a time machine to take me back to 2007 and a nice cold Heineken. Complaining about not drinking booze for a year. Sounds great. I hear my blog is real big in Japan.
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Thats’s a little angry. I sound angry. I’m really not, it’s just the constant struggle of trying to be artistically honest and real in an industry dedicated to pretending to be something you’re not. It’s not just the acting world either, the music industry can be just as bad if not worse. Entertainment is entertainment no matter what kind it is and the business can definitely make you crazy if you’re not careful. Once again, drinking helps, or at least it seems to, but it’s all psychological right? I mean a drink “taking the edge off” is just something that’s engrained in our collective social conscience, it’s not science is it? There’s no hard proof of alcohol containing some kind of calming agent or happy vitamins is there? I’m not asking these questions to make a point, I actually wonder whether it’s true or not because as I remember it, douchey actors and fake musicians seemed a lot easier to deal with after a beer or five. Coffee just amplifies the rage and the heightened awareness that comes with a clear head isn’t always a good thing. I don’t know. Maybe it should be. Science is hard.
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We’re all learning here folks. Little bits of information swishing around our ADD riddled brains. Aren’t you glad I posted all this valuable important information? Drinking calms the nerves and actors are crazy. Joe is an artist who is bitter and lazy. Write this down kids, there will be a test. It’s multiple choice and every answer is “all of the above” except for the essay question worth 51% which will be a detailed report on how lame it is to complain about Rebecca Black in a country where Donald Trump is a serious contender for the presidency while unemployment is at an all time high. “Hey public school teachers, you’re fired!” Yeah thanks Donald, we already know. We so excited.
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It’s all crazy though isn’t it? Everyone has crazy in their lives in one form or another and we all have our chocolate bunny crosses to bear (That may be wrong, I haven’t been to church in a while). The important thing is to not dwell on something for too long, which is exactly what I tend to do here. So I apologize if my posts become sparatic but it truly is for the greater good. If I post too frequently I’m libel to rant myself onto a defamation coma where the only cure is expensive whiskey and a visit from the ghost of Bill Hicks. As awesome as that would be, I’ll stick to the original plan. Only 250 more days to go. Sweet zombie Jesus. Here’s hoping I don’t spontaneously burst into flames before then. Cheers!

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SOBER CITY – Day 100!!

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Sober City – April 10, 2011
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Well folks, it’s been 100 days without a drop of booze! That’s over 3 months sober, 1/4 of a year dry and some amount of minutes I don’t feel like adding up on the wagon. Happy Sober Centennial (I know that’s not what it is but it sounds good) to me! Given my recent behemoth of a post, I’ll spare you all the tedious task of using your brains to sift through stupid words and give you a little video instead. Thanks for taking the trip with me so far! Here’s hoping I make it another 265 days without killing anyone! Cheers!

SOBER CITY – Day 98

P523

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Sober City – April 8th, 2011
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We all have issues. Some are more obvious than others but we all have little hang ups and let downs that make us the complex and interesting people that we are. For better or for worse, the baggage we carry with us through this magical mystery tour of humanity shapes not only who we are but who other people see us as. Most of it is beyond our control (without extensive therapy at least) and as we get older we find little tricks to manage our issues in order live our lives as we see fit. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. The great part is, most people don’t even know about these little hang ups and they probably won’t ever discover them on their own unless we feel the need to open up and divulge the information ourselves. Well my blog friends, I feel the need to divulge. There’s a major issue in my life that I’m sure I share with many of you and I think it deserves a good hard looking at (for a couple paragraphs in this post anyway). I’m talking about the evil cursed demon that is weight issues.
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Ever since I can remember I’ve struggled with my weight in one way or another. When I was in junior high I was definitely the fat kid and I spent most of my preteen years in jogging pants and large MC Hammer shirts. Lots of Nintendo and ice cream, little to no sports and broccoli. The crazy part though, was that I really had no idea I was fat. I was never made fun of at school and I had a bunch of friends who never really pointed it out to me. My mom was well aware of my extra pounds and would encourage me to eat healthier and go for walks as much as possible, but for the most part I lived a blissfully ignorant chubby childhood. Nothing really hit home for me until my focus shifted from video games and potato chips to a much bigger obsession that would eventually provide the motivation and passion that made me who I am today. I discovered girls.
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Like any other budding teenager in small town anywhere, I was infatuated with the idea of “liking” someone or more importantly getting someone to like me. I very quickly came to the realization (or perhaps fabricated the idea) that I needed to get in shape and change the way I look to ever “get with” the girls I liked. While this type of thinking may be damaging it retrospect, it also worked. I starting going to the gym with my friends on a regular basis and paying super close attention to what I was wearing and how I was styling my hair. By the time I was in my Junior year of high school I had already had multiple relationships and felt pretty confident about where I stood with the opposite sex. It probably didn’t hurt that I was in a band at this point or that I was already getting a reputation as a crazy outgoing actor either, but that wasn’t by accident. I can honestly admit at this point that the attention I was getting from girls because of my singing and acting was a major incentive to take performing as seriously as I have through all these years. I’m not saying I got into the business solely “for the chicks”…but it definitely helped. Girls started paying attention and I was instantly hooked. Of course this was all after I lost weight.
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It’s not hard to see how I made the connection between personal fulfillment and weight loss but it’s also not hard to see how that shouldn’t be the overriding factor. The problem is, the experiences we have at certain milestone ages in our lives tend to stick with us no matter how illogical or silly they may be. It’s the same reason we all think the music we grew up with is the best music the world has ever known. The power of association. We attach deep meaning and profound importance to tons of things that not only don’t deserve empowerment but sometimes shouldn’t even be held any higher then a quaint memory. If that first kiss with the girl or boy you loved happened while watching Empire Records, you’ll always have a special affinity towards that movie (and maybe Liv Tyler) but it doesn’t mean that movie is why you fell in love. Of course it’s way more complex when dealing with serious life long personal issues but it’s really essentially the same thing. We are who we are because of who we were.
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Now what does all of this have to do with not drinking? Well besides the fact that I probably have an unhealthy association between drinking and getting laid, I’m really starting to think at least 90% of the reason I started this whole experiment in the first place was to lose weight. Being the sloth like procrastinator that I am, cutting out the booze was the laziest thing I could possibly do to drop the pounds. I literally have to NOT do something. Going to the gym and getting on a healthy eating plan actually takes effort, where as not drinking requires me to physically do less action. Sad truth ladies and gentlemen, but the good news is that it’s totally working. I lost over 10 pounds in 3 months doing absolutely nothing, so suck on that Billy Blanks! In all actuality, the fact that booze has so many calories is probably saving my life. If alcohol somehow disintegrated fat off my body, I’m sure I’d have an I.V. bag full of Jack Daniel’s hooked up to my arm 24/7. As of yet, this is not the case.
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That’s enough. I really just wanted to confess that I have body image issues and that my weight is something I’ve always struggled with and will probably continue to struggle with for the rest of my life. Being an actor doesn’t help matters any and the genetics on both sides of my family aren’t exactly ideal. The men on my dad’s side are all prone to big beer bellies and my mom (who is NOT overweight by any means) has history with diabetes and still struggles with weight issues on a daily basis. Does that mean I’m just inevitably screwed? Sure, maybe. But I don’t think it’s that simple. While these hang ups we all have run deep and in most cases are securely engrained in our psyche, once we recognize that they exist we can slowly start to see how ridiculous and unimportant they really are. It’s not easy stuff to overcome, but it is possible if you’re at least willing to try. Sometimes if you just look at something long enough, you’ll see something you never knew was there before and that something just might be enough to change everything. Cheers!